Blog Articles
Change Your Thinking And It Will Change Your Life
The “High-Conflict” Lie
Why Your Ex's Court Tactics are Post-Separation Abuse Post-separation Abuse in Family Court If you are a survivor of abuse in a relationship, the separation may feel like just the beginning of the battle—not the end. You went to the family court seeking...
The Nine-Year Lie: Flipping the Script on Infidelity and the Aftermath
The Aftermath After five years of legal intimidation, litigation abuses and a situation of extreme emotional abuse and psychological harm. I want to revisit the betrayal, the emotional impact and look at a hypothetical scenario of Flipping the Script on Infidelity and...
October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month
DVAM 2025 UK Serious Crimes Act and Spain 1/2004, comprehensive protection measures. As October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month, I thought I would look at UK and Spanish laws on violence against women. It has now been five years this month that I was advised by...
Narcissistic Manipulation and Coercive Control
My lived experience. I now call the abrupt termination of the relationship a four-sentence discard speech. Here are the words he used to end a relationship that spanned eleven years. In fact he denied that we had a relationship. I now do not want to refer to it as a...
Civil Court Verbal Hearing for Precarious Eviction
The court hearing June 10th 2022, is the day of the verbal hearing in the Civil Court in Cartagena. I turn up at the court a little early. I'm wearing a long, blue, sleeveless silk dress with a long jacket to match. On entering the courthouse, there is police and...
New Thoughts New Choices
Will you prepare yourself to achieve the impossible? If you keep thinking the same thoughts, keep demonstrating the same behaviours, keep living by the same emotions, your personal reality is going to stay exactly the same. But if you have new thoughts that lead to...
How to Magnetically Attract a Life of Success.
Success. The word itself conjures images of achievement, fulfilment, and a life well-lived. But for many, it feels like a distant star, something to be chased endlessly without ever quite reaching it.
The Precarious Partner: How Spanish Law Can Leave Long-Term Dependents Homeless
The use of precarious eviction ( desahucio por precario ) in Spain to evict a long-term unmarried partner, particularly when the woman was financially dependent, raises significant moral and ethical concerns, even if it may be legally permissible under certain...
Highlighting Gaps In The Laws That Fail Women
Gaps In The Laws Between Property Law and Gender Based Violence of Economic Abuse. How women are failed by the Justice System that discriminates against them and operates on misogyny and bias. Spanish Law and Psychological Abuse Ley Orgánica 1/2004, Spain's...
Inspired by a speech from Madonna.
Inspiration. I stand before you as a disposable woman. Oh, I mean, as a female English foreigner in Spain, who spent years in a non-married relationship with a man I had trusted and unfortunately discovered he was not trustworthy. To the Guardia Civil. Thank you for...
What is a discard in a relationship ending?
Termination of a relationship. A "discard" in the context of a relationship breakup refers to a sudden, abrupt, and often unexplained ending, where one partner is abruptly cut off with little to no communication or closure. It's characterized by a lack of empathy,...
No Divorce Required
At the end of non-married relationships couples can normally end things amicably without the need to litigate. This usually means discussions about how each party will be able to start over again. Women are normally more inclined to have been in the “housewife,...
The Real Reasons Survivors Publish Their Stories.
Publishing your journey through domestic abuse, while incredibly difficult, often stems from a motivation that goes far beyond simply "telling a story." Here are some of the real reasons behind this courageous act: Breaking the Silence and Stigma: Domestic abuse...
Understanding Coercive Control: Insights from Two Expert Talks
Coercive Control I have chosen two videos in this article that cover “Coercive Control”. Both are TEDx talks. What is coercive control? Domestic abuse isn't always physical. Coercive control is an act or a pattern of acts of assault, threats, humiliation, intimidation...
Why Female Survivors of Domestic Abuse or Gender-Based Violence Have Difficulty in Stabilising Financial Security
Introduction Financial independence is one of the most critical yet most challenging milestones for women recovering from domestic abuse or gender-based violence. Beyond the physical and emotional scars, survivors often face long-lasting economic consequences that...