YOU ARE NOT WORTHY OF ME – Poem by Robin Mitchell-Sandeen
You are not worthy of my love. You are not worthy of my respect. I can move on and forgive you, but I never will forget. To heal I must remind myself of who I used to be and of all that you have put me through, and all that was stolen from me. You have taken my joy and laughter and turned it into tears. You have made me insecure and riddled me with fears. You tried to alter my reality but I refuse to give you ground. I’m taking back the power now, you cannot keep me bound. Each day is such a struggle as I sort through all the mess. The loss that I have suffered through begins to affect me less. I must cut ties with people who used to be my friend. It’s just not worth the torture that’s inflicted in the end. This time alone is sobering as I find myself conflicted. No one understands the pain of the person who’s afflicted. Support is desperately needed but I don’t know where to turn. I wonder who he’s gotten to which is a serious concern. I know this isn’t over yet as I manoeuver through the course. Healing from the damage caused is something I can’t force. I’m trying to clutch onto hope but everything seems dark and grim. I’m looking for the light ahead, but all I see is him. The history comes flashing back to the forefront of my mind. Obsessing from the years I’ve lost and the fact that I was blind. It takes all that I can muster to get up everyday, but I know that I must conquer all the things that are in play. My eyes are completely opened now to all that has transpired. I shake my head in disbelief to think it was conspired. The strategic manipulations came so naturally for you. You preyed on my good nature so that tragedy ensued. You faked your feelings every day to create a great illusion. You captivated me with words and caused me such confusion. Up and down, and on and off, you clearly are unstable. The life you lead is nothing more than a nicely written fable. Release me from your grip I plead, and give me back my sanity. Walk away and don’t look back, and take with you your vanity. Your selfish pride, your evil ways, your lies and discontent. The qualities that you possess are ones that I resent. As I leave you to yourself, I ask that you be kind. But I know that it’s not possible when you have a toxic mind. So I will work on me, and the damage that you caused, the pain I have endured so long, and my life that you have paused. Better things await for me. And I will cling to that belief. I refuse to let it keep me down and to succeed in my defeat.
Published with permission from Robin Mitchell-Sandeen
You might like to read another Poem by Robin that she wrote in 2018, Titled “BROKEN”