Your personal relationships are vital to your happiness. You do not want to fill your life with hate, negativity and people that bring you down. Being in a toxic relationship with a “serial adulterer” a “prolific cheater” or a person who wants to lead a “double lifestyle” will lead you into feelings of confusion, anger, doubt, pain, and heartbreak. In some cases even physical illness through stress, such as heart problems, cancers, depression and more.
In fact, it is documented the infidelity is a predictor of depression, anxiety, and domestic violence. The decision to remain in a relationship after infidelity is based on many things including finances, family connections, plus parenting young children. In my case I had become dependent upon my partner financially, I had tried very hard to rebuild and restart another business venture after selling my own property rental client database. However, it didn’t matter what I tried I didn’t get through the start-up phase. I also lost a huge part of my savings and got into huge debts, mainly due to one online marketing education investment that was closed down by the FTC in the US. (Circumstances beyond my control) Plus I loved him, I didn’t want to leave him, I forgave him. I worked on healing the emotional damage he had caused me. Unfortunately, it was not enough, it never would be enough, as soon as I regained my self-confidence he discarded me abruptly, for another woman he had already known and been involved with years before.
Are there problems that make it hard for you to love the person that you are in a relationship with? Never settle for anything less than what you deserve. You are the only one that is in control of your life and the relationships that you are in. I know how difficult it can be when things do not feel right. It is also very difficult to leave a toxic or abusive situation when you can not see a way out.
Leaving an Abusive Partner
Why is leaving the most dangerous time?
Research shows that the most dangerous time for a domestic abuse survivor/victim is when she leaves the abusive partner; 77 per cent of domestic violence-related homicides occur upon separation and there is a 75 per cent increase of violence upon separation for at least two years post-separation.
Healthy vs Toxic Relationships
- Sexual Respect
- Hold Grudges
- Distrust and Lying
- Dominate conversations (hold secrets)
- Sexual Abuse
What does an abusive relationship look like?
Abuse is occuring in a relationship when one partner is:-
- Communicating in a hurtful or threatening way
- Mistreating you
- Accusing or blaming the other person for various things
- Denying their actions are abusive or bullying behaviour
- Controlling and isolating
- Sarcastic, Critical,
- Angry outbursts, explosive temper
- Humiliation, Belittling
Narcissistic Relationships – Why The Narcissists Lives A Double Life?
Narcissists are no saints. They want to control, manipulate and abuse. What are the red flags to look out for.
Remember it is never your fault, you were never to blame. You can give your time, love and energy but it is never enough for the narcissist. If you have been devalued and discarded, or have left an abusive relationship you need to educate yourself and know the signs so you can avoid repeating the same mistakes again.
Figure out what you want to change if anything about your personal relationships. Is everything, as you want it to be? Ask yourself the question, “What do I really want?” Remember that you are the only one that can make decisions for yourself. It is not up to your partner to tell you what you should or should not be doing with your life. If you feel lost, confused, or even completely drained of any self-confidence then you may need to start to rebuild.
Reframing Your Mindset
The good news is, there’s hope to rebuild your self-esteem. It’s completely viable to become as confident (if not more) than you were before your toxic relationship. You just need to start thinking of yourself, putting yourself first, investing in YOU.
Forget the “victim mentality” be the heroine or the hero for a change. Don’t stay stuck in the past. Accept that things can change and look forward to what is going to come. This is going to make you feel better and give you the encouragement that you need in order to be happy in life. Do not jump into a new relationship right away. You’ve been hurt. You need time to heal. When you begin to feel more confident and positive about yourself and your future finding or attracting a more positive and healthy relationship will be much easier. Take your time to really consider what makes you happy.