By loren Keeling (Author Pen name)
Creative Non-Fiction
Common Post Separation Abuse Tactics.
Intimidation and threats, verbal abuse, financial abuse, legal abuse and DARVO – deny attack reverse victim and offender. Â Loren writes her story to raise awareness of hidden forms of abuse, also highlighting the gaps in the laws after being advised to report gender violence in Spain where she lives. Â Loren deals with the conflicting legal advice from solicitors at the end of a non-married relationship. She points out that older women in cohabiting relationships can often find themselves stuck with no real support.
Survivor of narcissistic abuse
Loren Keeling
Post-separation abuse refers to patterns of abuse that persist after a relationship has ended. Often the target or victim survivor did not realise there was abuse in the relationship.Â
Ending a relationship of any kind with an abusive person can be a difficult experience, and the end of the relationship doesn’t always mean the end of the abuse. Your abuser may attempt to control or hurt you through post-separation abuse tactics.
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Abuse is About Power and Control
Post-Separation Abuse Tactics that you need to know.
Coercion and threats
Abusers may attempt to control (coerce) you by threatening you,
harming you physically or emotionally, compromising your financial security, and use the law against you.
They Can Manipulate Lie and Cheat
Download a free chapter
A double life, how and why? (It’s like Goodnight Sweetheart)
Intimidation and fear
Abusers may try to get you to fear them by:
- using intimidating gestures,
- raising their fists towards you,
- using violent gestures,
- displaying weapons,
- violent rage outbursts
Isolation and discrediting
During the relationship Isolation is a common form of mental or emotional abuse. Â An abuser may push you to end relationships or distance yourself from loved ones so that you remain dependent on them. In some cases you may move to another country.
Legal abuse post-separation
Abusers sometimes use the legal system to harass and control their targets. They may file false reports, or falsely accuse you of criminal behaviour. They could also attempt to sue you or draw out court proceedings to harass or impoverish you.
Power and Coercive Control
Minimising, denying, and blaming
Abusers may try to make their abuse seem like your fault, or they may deny it happened altogether.
- minimizing abuse by making light of their actions
- or accusing you of over-exaggerating
- denying that certain things happened at all
- blaming you and DARVOÂ Sometimes, these tactics are a form of gaslighting. Gaslighting is a type of manipulation where an abuser makes you question your beliefs, sanity, and perception of reality.
Power and coercive control wheel
The power and control wheel was developed in the 1980s.Â
This tool is also known as the Duluth wheel.
Abuse tactics mentioned in the wheel include:
- intimidation
- emotional abuse
- isolation
- minimizing, denying, and blaming
- using children
- using male privilege
- economic abuse
- coercion and threats
Post-separation abuse wheel
The post-separation abuse wheel covers abuse that happens to women and children after the end of a relationship. Â Post separation abuse can also happen to older women nearing retirement as in my story and the story of another woman who is living in the same region of Spain. Watch the video and listen to how two women have similiar stories and end up with different outcomes.
DOWNLOAD A PDF COPY OF THE DULUTH MODEL POST SEPARATION POWER AND CONTROL WHEEL CLICK HERE
DOWNLOAD A PDF COPY OF THE Duluth Model Post Separation ECONOMIC POWER And Control Wheel CLICK HERE
What Others Say
“Loren endured emotional devastation and fear after the abrupt termination of the relationship. She experienced intimidation and threats at the same time that her ex-partner had promised to share the property value equally. What makes this memoir particularly compelling is how Keeling reflects on the whole of the relationship while researching various ways to heal the emotional turmoil and post-traumatic stress responses.”
– Anna Olson Business Coach
The first negative review from the court document in the allegation of defamation from the man I shared my life with for eleven years.
“This spiteful book tells her story of our relationship. Whilst it contains much factually correct and much untrue, some of it is pure fiction. The book is 337 pages long, of which 164 pages relate directly to me.”
– The Ex Claiming Defamation (July 2022)
Other – Low Content Journals
My Letters To The Universe
Start writing the script according to
your hearts desires.
Journal My Letters to the Ex
If you have been disrespected, betrayed and hurt use this journal to start writing about your experiences and the things that happened to cause you emotional
distress and pain.
Journal My Letters
to the other Woman.
If you have been disrespected, betrayed and hurt use this journal to start writing about your experiences and the things that happened to cause you emotional
distress and pain.Â
Coming Soon!
Available December 18, 2024
Deceptions and, Illusions
Non-Fiction
Embroidered With Truth. The sequel to Post-Separation Abuse, because it’s not over yet. Three overlapping litigations in Spanish Civil and Criminal Courts. The story that needs to be told.
My Blog ARTICLES
Follow Along
Learning New Skills – My daughter helps me out.
This is a chapter from Deceptions Illussions Embroidered With Truth. My daughter helps me out. After my attempts to negotiate with the mediation company had failed, I was juggling my finances and looking for opportunities to start earning again. I was watching videos...
Moving The Goalposts Again
This is a chapter from my next book. I am continuing the story of my post-separation experience to document the situation. Please note that all names have been changed.  The ex had been moving the goalposts so many times already. I felt like a puppet on a string. He...
Silencing Survivors Through Defamation Lawsuits
Abusive Litigations In recent years, abusive litigation has become a common tool used by powerful individuals to silence those who dare to speak out on matters of public concern, particularly in cases involving abuse, sexual violence, and defamation. This tactic is...