How do you start to rebuild yourself when everything falls apart at the same time?
Your relationship has ended abruptly after you are told they have a new love in their life (they cheated on you more than once) leaving you in shock.
You have no job and no business generating an income you were wholly dependent on that person.
You try to negotiate the financial proposal that is offered but not given, but you are told “You can not negotiate a GIFT”
You ask your ex for help before they leave you, but that request is refused.
You have been told to leave their property, but not in a nice way.
Within weeks of being abandoned, you are being threatened with court and eviction.
Post-separation you come to the realisation that your partner never loved you.
The Primary Source
You were the primary source in the Narcissist’s life, the caregiver, the housekeeper, the servant to the master… This primary source is used and manipulated the most.
Other secondary sources are usually in place, a person who the Narcissist is being unfaithful with.
The Narcissist moves on quickly. The new supply is in place. Engaged and married within months of ending their relationship.
Uncertainty In Your Life
Your emotional well-being has been trampled on!
Your confidence is at an all-time low!
You are in a place of fear and uncertainty in your life.
You are confused, you have lost the person you loved the most, the dreams you had for your future, you lost the person you were at the start of the relationship.
You were confident, financially independent, running a business, enjoying your life.
Trauma and Anxiety
Grief and grieving will take time to recover from.
Psychological shock, trauma and anxiety emotional reactions to a deeply distressing or disturbing event also take time effort and lots of forgiveness to move on from. Ho’oponopono Prayer on Forgiveness
While the narcissist shows no mercy, no empathy, and continues to trigger and manipulate from a position of power and control. Often recruits others to assist them in their actions to cause further distress.
Research now confirms that those who discover that they’ve been in a relationship with a sex addict or chronic cheaters experience symptoms of betrayal trauma and can even develop PTSD. Post-traumatic stress disorder.
A person suffering from PTSD or CPTSD often
relives the distressing moment or disturbing events, even flashbacks and nightmares, plus fatigue from lack of sleep.
When a person is reliving events they are trying to make sense of what has happened.
As a response to flight, fight or freeze.
To make sense of what is happening.
You lost all sense of your past.
You lost all thoughts for your future.
You can not process the situation. To use an analogy, it is like your brains filing storage of memories has been tipped out and all of the files are now spread all over the floor and are mixed up. You now have to start picking up these files and putting them back in some sort of order or completely discarding them.
Some memories will not serve you well and will trigger painful reminders of the situation, leading you to process negative thoughts and emotions over and over again.
Each time you start feeling discomfort or discontent or your thoughts are producing negative self-talk you need to be able to interrupt the cycle.
Think of your thoughts as a radio broadcast.
You are the person in control of turning the dial and can start tuning in to a different frequency.
Every time you get that repetition of a situation or an event, you can tell yourself.
I’m interrupting this broadcast for the good of my mind, body and soul. I am a being of the Universe and I deserve to live a life I love living.