So I learned about the #cycleofabuse
#lovebomb #devaluation #discard #hoover.
Covert narcissists can have friendships with many ex-girlfriends. I had no idea about narcissistic traits or lousy behaviour (abuse) until post-separation.
I discovered post-separation that he had been leading a double life from the start of the relationship. He not only had a relationship with another woman he referred to as a “Wednesday Girl,” but his ex-wife ( married six months before she walked out) also popped up post-separation to tell me they had been fully involved for years after they divorced. Sick.
The narcissist starts out charming, kind, caring, generous. Gifts, holidays, he loves you so much. Everything you ever wanted.
Until you see things and hear him say things you are unsure of but don’t understand.
When the devaluation starts, you might be blind to it, or you make excuses. But he is still telling you he loves you and buys you gifts.
I’m not sure if his show of love revolves around buying gifts and his generosity in the things he provides or the money he gives you.
Be careful; narcissists give gifts intending to maintain a relationship and to maintain control in that relationship.
#mindgames #manipulation #gaslighting
But watch out. If you are not eternally grateful for the breadcrumbs of his show of affection, then the anger outbursts start.
The narcissist can be like an emotionally immature teenager having a full-blown strop or an angry rage, and you are the target.
These types often include addictions, alcohol, drugs, sex, cheating, and shopping. Entitled and grandiose but may also be negative and depressive. I learned a lot about narcissistic behaviours from watching videos but also from lived experiences over 11 years.
Post-Separation
They can also be highly destructive #postseparation when they lose control of a primary supply. I inadvertently caused what I believe is a narcissistic injury. I bruised his ego.
I didn’t behave as he requested. Or expected.
So even though he jumped into a new relationship, he betrayed and abandoned me in a foreign country and made a marriage proposal to his new woman six weeks after leaving. He came after me and made his post-separation threats a reality.
It’s not over yet.
3.5 years post-separation, non-married relationship. I have three overlapping litigations against me
And looming #eviction from the home I’m living in. The property that he promised to share the value of 50/50 but then, two weeks after leaving, was taking legal action to evict me.
Narcissistic personalities have no empathy. Lack of morals has zero compassion. They will stop at nothing to win at all costs. That includes destroying a previous partner emotionally, psychologically and financially.
So be very careful and avoid these types. If your boundaries are crossed more than once or twice, exit very quickly.
This video is part of my campaign to recognise gender-based violence in precarious forced evictions in cohabiting relationships.
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