As Justice Systems Are Failing Women
One woman replied to me, saying it is a worldwide tragedy.
Here are some causes that women and men are passionate about changing.
Domestic violence: Pushing for stricter laws, increased protection for survivors, and improved support services.
Gender equality: Challenging discriminatory laws and policies that limit women’s rights and opportunities.
Reproductive rights: Fighting for bodily autonomy and access to reproductive healthcare.
Economic justice: Advocating for equal pay, affordable childcare, and financial support for women.
Access to justice: Improving legal systems to ensure that women have equal access to justice and protection.
Women across the globe are spearheading a movement to challenge and transform legal systems that have historically disadvantaged them.
Who are these brave women who step forward, speak out, and advocate for change?
Let’s take a look at some of these stories.
First, the Me Too movement.
In October 2017, Alyssa Milano posted on Twitter, now X.
Her tweet said:
“If you’ve been sexually harassed or assaulted write ‘me too’ as a reply to this tweet.”
Six years on the Tweet shows 53k comments, 33k retweets, 43k likes, 303 bookmarks.
She aimed to raise awareness of the number of women around the world who have experienced sexual assault, abuse or harassment.
In an article in Forbes from 2018, Alyssa is interviewed by Dr Michelle Penelope King
gender equality expert, researcher, speaker and author.
Alyssa is quoted in the article referring to Tarana Burke.
She said this:-
“From the moment I sent that first tweet it was my mission to use my platform to lift Tarana Burke’s work up, but also to see to it that meaningful change is implemented.”
Tarana founded the non-profit JustBe, Inc. in 2007; the ‘Me Too’ Movement was born shortly after. She began using the phrase ‘me too’ to promote the idea of “empowerment through empathy.” Her campaign was designed to facilitate healing, and she also wanted to train survivors to work in communities of colour. This year, long after the viral Tweet, Tarana was interviewed on “Wisdom 2.0” with Soren Gordhamer; she declared that the “Me Too” movement is not a women’s movement. She understands that women do bear the brunt of violence, but the movement to end sexual violence is not a women’s movement. I tend to agree the movement is a people’s movement that includes all individuals.
One Moms Battle
Next is Tina Swithin, who created a blog documenting her experience of a “high conflict” Divorce with her husband in the Family Court Sytems of California. Tina had to educate herself on navigating Family Court as a self-represented parent (pro se). Tina spent ten years going through litigations to gain protection and sole custody in her daughter’s best interests.
The mission of One Moms Battle is to educate and raise awareness of post-separation abuse that often plays out in “Custody Battles” in Family Courts. Often high-conflict personality types, controlling, narcissistic persons use Family Court and legal processes to inflict further harm on a victim survivor. Unfortunately, Judges, Lawyers, Magistrates, Social Workers, Therapists, and Attorneys do not always understand the power dynamic that a perpetrator is using.
Today, Tina is a best-selling Author of Divorcing A Narcissist. She has online courses and a
High Conflict Divorce Coaching Certification Program. In 2020, Tina founded “Family Court Awareness Month” She has been calling for people to write a letter to the City’s Mayor to proclaim November as Family Court Awareness Month.
Custody Peace
Next, I researched an organisation operating in the United States Custody-Peace.Org
How many women can relate?“ A perpetrator may have brought about a situation where the victim is a shell of her former self, her psychological integrity in ruins, and her economic well-being drastically reduced.’ (Moulding et al., 2021” )
I read an article on Medium from July 2022 and posted it on X for my followers.
You can read the article on Medium here.
The Post on X
Custody Peace started in 2020, from a simple Instagram account to post some truths to see if others were experiencing what they saw at a systemic level. It turned out there were many other people who witnessed injustice in the courts. Their Instagram account has over 27k followers now. The non-profit Organisation was founded in 2021.
I remember seeing the term “parental alienation” being used in posts on Twitter; there seemed to be a 50/50 split between the arguments for and against. When I looked into the term, I discovered it had origins in PAS, Parental Alienation Syndrome, a term introduced by child psychiatrist Richard Gardner in 1985. There is still a lot of confusion surrounding this term.
Individuals and Organisations who spoke out about how the term was being misused in Family Courts to counter claims of domestic abuse by mothers, were attacked by those with opposing views. The term quickly became a social media battleground. One View:“ Abusers use the term “parental alienation” to try to discredit women who are speaking up about abuse.” Kate Anthony – Divorce Coach
Another view:
“Parental alienation occurs when a child refuses to have a relationship with a parent due to manipulation, such as the conveying of exaggerated or false information, by the other parent. The situation most often arises during a divorce or custody battle but it can happen in intact families as well.” Psychology Today
Custody Peace continues to raise awareness of post-separation abuse, narcissistic personality disorder, high-conflict divorce and custody battles that lump together both parents as unwilling to agree when it can be one parent is using manipulation “coercion” and abusing the legal process.
Research Group
Continuing on the theme of high conflict and post-separation abuse, I discovered another campaign research group via my (Twitter) X profile, SHERA, which stands for See, Hear, Empower, Respond, Act. This is a research group of multidisciplinary professionals working in health, human rights, law, finance, social care and domestic abuse research and support organisations. You can find SHERA on X and the website here.
Dr Elizabeth Dalgarno is the Director and Founder of SHERA. Lecturer and Researcher specialising in Health. SHERA covers articles on topics such as Mothers Failed by the Family Courts. Plus the controversial subject of “Parental Alienation” as a Pseudoscience.
In my view, the term parental alienation syndrome originates from a highly questionable source. I recall, as a teenager, not wanting contact with my mother after my parents separated. There was no manipulation, and I was free to visit. I just didn’t want to go at the time. Divorce and separation are never easy, and it becomes more contentious when the persons involved are unable to act in emotionally mature ways. Cheating, infidelity and betrayal can impact the emotional well-being of the betrayed parent and the children in the family unit. It takes time to repair the damage, and there will be a grieving period. Some parent-child relationships will never be repaired.
Riverlight
Just recently, I found an organisation called Riverlight.org.uk via my TikTok account. The latest campaign caught my attention. A video reviewed some of the things Judges had said in Family Courts the Riverlight Campaign is “In the Judge’s Words”.
In this TikTik Video, they gained over 30k views. You can also view the campaign from their website here
Quote
“This campaign resonated deeply and so far has reached a large audience of nearly half a million people, with thousands of comments, across all our social media platforms. Each sharing their own horrifying and similar ordeal. It highlighted just how pervasive and common place this treatment of survivors was within the family courts.”
The treatment of abuse survivors documented in this campaign represents a violation of their fundamental rights to a fair hearing as guaranteed by Article 6 of the European Convention on Human Rights. This campaign resonated with me because I had experienced discrimination in a Spanish Civil Court “verbal hearing,” where, unfortunately, I was not given any opportunity to speak. The free public-appointed lawyer for my defence had made up her mind. She told me the Judge will order your eviction.
The Plaintiff in the case was a former partner who was trying to force me through a “precarious” eviction even though he had promised 50% of the value of the property he had abandoned me in. I had been through two Gender Violence Court hearings, in 2020 and 2021, which the Judge dismissed in the last hearing. It was my understanding that I would be able to raise the post-separation abuse of intimidation and threats and the emotional and psychological abuse throughout the relationship. I had explained the false statements in the court documents, but the lawyer refused to listen.
I had documents, a verbal recording, and a negotiated signed agreement from 2021 arranged post-separation after six or seven failed attempts to come to a win-win solution on my part. None of my evidence was presented in my defence. Instead, I was told, “Go back to your family, go back to the UK” I was not welcome here in Spain. These statements caused re-traumatisation. She did not even ask if I had any family to return to.
The founder of Riverlight is Roda Hassan, who was quoted in a recent article in the Independent
QUOTE
“Victims and survivors constantly tell us that they often feel more abused and victimised by the court system itself than the perpetrator. If you can’t feel safe in a court of law where this happens, then where can you feel safe?”
UK based Non-Profit
The final organisation is another UK-based non-profit. The mission is to fight for gender equality in the UK. The name is Right To Equality; the founder is Dr Charlotte Proudman, an award-winning barrister, academic, and campaigner. I discovered Dr Proudman through my account on X while tweeting on the subjects of post-separation abuse, narcissism and my lived experience.
On the blog of the Right to Equality website journalists Louise Tickle and Hanah Summers have written articles on Family Court.
This one, “Family Court Does Not Understand Domestic Abuse” includes a list of all the things that an abuser steals from his victim through a campaign of abuse in the relationship and also post-separation. Something I have lived to experience.
Quote from the article
| Self-worth Hope Steady ground Family Your Self | Health Trust Relationships In-laws | Dreams Faith Children Friends |
The women asked others to “please add,” in response:
| Career Hair (from stress) Past (all a lie) Time – they steal time | Reputation Dignity Future | Credit rating Credibility Health |
I will add emotional and psychological well-being and financial security in retirement when the abuser becomes the victim and turns the real victim survivor into the perpetrator to deny his wrongdoing, known as DARVO.
Deny all abuse, Attack the victim (defamation lawsuit), Reverse victim and Offender.
I wrote about this in my self-published story of post-separation abuse. I am relaunching the second version for the fifth anniversary of the abrupt termination or #discard as I now know what I experienced. Subscribe to my list for updates on the launch and the sequel to my story, Deceptions and Illusions. Embroidered with Truth, which will be released in December 2024.
In conclusion
The issues highlighted here all fall into a similar vein. Women do not have equal access to the Justice system. Tina Swithin had to self-represent over a ten-year divorce battle with a high-conflict ex-spouse. Family Court Judges do not seem to be “trauma-informed”, and reading some of the things they have said in Family Court, it is clear they are not trained on “hidden forms of domestic abuse.” Coercive controlling behaviours” have been a crime since December 2015 in the UK, yet at least one Judge questioned what it was. I have experienced the failures in the Gender Violence Court after reporting emotional and psychological abuse. Lawyers who do not help, free lawyers who are not interested, discrimination and bias are rife. There are things that we can do, and that is to continue to speak up, continue to raise awareness, and continue to share lived experiences.
